La Dolce Vita

She Speaks!

2011-02-24T11:41:00.000-08:00

A New Chapter

2010-12-28T19:25:00.000-08:00

Bijou hosted a holiday tea party at our house with her friends Yuba, Stella, Franny & Maia. Of course, I insisted on a little caroling in front of the fire. Note to Bijou: Never pick your nose while I'm filming a video.

Eero "Stewie" is quite the little talker. He enjoys hearing his voice, as do I.

Wilder got this little frog blankie from Santa in his stocking this year and it proved to be a big hit. He literally shrieked with delight when we first showed it to him. I certainly wasn't expecting such a delightful reaction to a gift from a 4-month-old. He really is one of the happiest babies I know.

Eero shows off his skills in the exersaucer when I ask him to hit the cow button & he actually does it!

Bijou is so sweet with him.

A Few Things To Remember

2010-10-27T14:27:00.002-07:00

Hi! It's been a while...

Our "brothers" arrived on 8/28/10 just shortly after midnight and have been keeping us really busy ever since. The past 9 weeks have gone by really fast and some of it is already a blur. We've experienced some colic, some reflux, and some sleep deprivation. On the upside, we now have a kindergartner in the house who has transitioned better than we could have hoped. We have also been blessed with the first smiles from Eero and Wilder.

The other day, Bijou laid down on the bed with her brothers and asked that I take a picture of them since they all look like twins. I think she feels a little left out of the twin relationship so she is always pointing out the similarities between herself and them.

"Mommy, Wilder and I look like twins because we both have blond hair."

The birth story...

At 39 weeks and 173 pounds (I should note that I'm only 5' 4") my OB suggested induction. At 7am on a Friday morning Doug, Kate and I went off to the hospital to have ourselves some babies. After a grueling 13 hours of a Pitocin drip my uterus had stopped dilating at 3cm. At this point I'd had enough jello cups and incontinence to continue. To top it off, the fetal monitors kept me in the exact same position in bed all day and I had the strongest urge to MOVE! After a conversation with my OB at 10pm I decided to have a c-section and had just one special request... surgery just before midnight in hopes of the boy's having separate birthdays. Due to a tech error in the lab which caused a 20 minute delay, the boys were born at 12:22 and 12:24am. They were huge and healthy at 6lbs. 8 oz. and 7lb. 4 oz. It was a busy night at the hospital with many women sharing rooms and one woman delivering in the hallway, so we were happy to have our own room. The boys shared a bassinet just as we had intended.

By Monday morning we were headed home to enjoy our large family. As we left the hospital, we experienced the attention twin babies get from the world.

2010-10-27T14:27:00.001-07:00

"I'm a soccer girl!"

2010-04-23T18:56:00.001-07:00

OMG!

2010-03-25T10:44:00.001-07:00

The other day we were at Target and Bijou said she had to use the bathroom. Doug decided to take her and let her go into the women's bathroom all by herself. We feel she's ready for this since she can lock the door to the stall all by herself and knows to wash her hands and we trust she won't dilly-dally to much. Everything went off without a hitch except this...

Doug: "How did it go?"

Bijou: "Good. Except there was no more toilet paper so I just picked up a piece from off the floor."

Doug: "Uh, yuck! Don't ever do that again."

Needless to say, she had a bath immediately after we got home.

The Waiting Period

2010-01-31T14:11:00.000-08:00

Bijou is so excited for her babies to come. I tried to warn her that it will be a LONG wait but she still insists on talking about all the details daily. Her new obsession is coming up with names for her babies. Today, she decided Abigail and Alistair were good names. I told her that Alistair wouldn't be too happy if we have another Alistair in the family but she wasn't buying it. I think she just loves Ali so much she wants another one.

For years, Bijou has joined us in our bed in the middle of the night. Now that I'm pregnant, her early morning visits coincide with my growling tummy waking me up. My solution has been to keep a banana by the bed for me to eat at 4am. The new ritual is for me to keep 2 bananas by the bed so Bijou can have one too. She says, "I'm hungry too." I enjoy this little bonding time, even if it's at 4am.

A milestone was reached this week when Doug taught Bijou the words in one of her Dick and Jane books. It only took one night for her to memorize what each word looks like and now she can read the entire book herself with great pride. We are proud of her too. It also reinforces our decision to have her start kindergarten just shy of her fifth birthday. I know she will be ready.

Christmas 2009

2010-01-02T13:16:00.000-08:00

The French Show

2009-11-29T14:31:00.000-08:00

Minivan? Say it ain't so

2009-11-24T13:24:00.000-08:00

As we plan to add one more to our family, Boogs recently voiced her interest in a minivan. This suggestion is so out of touch with what I thought I knew about her, I'm still struggling to get my head around it. As I see it, one of three things is going on here.

Option one is that she is pulling that ever so popular high school shenanigan where you coax a confession from someone by offering a false confession of your own. For example,

Me: Hey man, heavy business is weighing me down and I've got to get it out in the open.

Unwitting Target (UT): Dude, you know I'm here for you.

Me: Here it is, bro. I still sleep with Bruno, the teddy bear I've had since age four. If Bruno is not snuggled up beside me in the bed, I just can't relax.

UT: Whoa, I am so glad you shared that with me, because I can't fall asleep without the tender embrace of Reggie the raccoon. His faux fur and innocent eyes provide me with the comfort and security I need to nod off to dreamland.

Me: Dude, you are such a pansy. I tossed my teddy bear in the trash when I was five. Wait until I tell everyone about this.

UT: No man, I was just making that up to make you feel better. Really man, Reggie doesn't exist. Well he did, but not any more.

Me: Yeah right, you sissy. This is awesome!

UT: Dude, you are so not my friend right now.

Under this option, the wife is attempting to extract my acknowledgement that a minivan is an acceptable, perhaps even a desirable, mode of transportation. Ain't gonna happen. If the government passed legislation outlawing all passenger vehicles save for minivans (aka the Vehicular Emasculation Act of 2009), I would ride the bus. Any way, Boogs is not the devious type, so while theoretically possible, I doubt option one warrants further consideration.

Option two is that Boogs was abducted and an extraterrestrial doppleganger has taken her place. This would actually explain a lot, but it would not explain the minivan proposal. Aliens drive around at high speeds in super sleek space craft. I can't imagine one settling on a minivan. If she had suggested a Lotus, I would be suspicious.

Which brings me to option three, in many ways the most unpalatable of all: She actually wants a minivan. I would be inclined to reject this possibility as well if she hadn't become so animated when describing this center console games and activities table and chairs set up that these things apparently have. I'm sorry, but I'm not interested in a preschool on wheels. It's bad enough that our current car has a theatre system that presents Dora's incessant yelling in perfect Dolby clarity. I cannot imagine adding to the mix glue sticks and scissors careening around the car every time I forget what I'm driving and attempt to take a corner at speeds greater than 10 MPH.

First Day of School

2009-09-01T12:01:00.001-07:00

A lovely first day of school fake smile. Doug was delighted she picked the "Jimmy" shirt to wear her first day. And I was delighted she choose her new H & M petticoat.

She is quite the poser.

Oooh, scary!

Dude, where's my car?

"Bonjour!"

This is her, "I'm terrified! You're not leaving yet?" face.

Kauai- August 2009

2009-08-25T15:53:00.001-07:00

When I Grow Up...

2009-07-16T07:39:00.000-07:00

I want to be a mom.
I want to be a farmer.
I want to be a fairy.
I want to be a butterfly.
I want to be a princess.
I want to be a mermaid.

A Funny Thing

2009-06-17T08:34:00.000-07:00

The other day Bijou and I were at the pool. She had been swimming for 2 hours and I had lost track of time and forgot to ask her to go in and use the bathroom. She decided it was time to go in the hot tub, the finale to our trip to the pool, and a second after she got in she turned to me and said, "Mommy, I am not going pee." "Really?" I ask. Very suspicious.

A Three-year-olds Graduation

2009-06-12T16:34:00.000-07:00

Tongue Click

2009-06-08T12:50:00.000-07:00

The Bean learned how to click her tongue this weekend. I told her that is how you talk to horses. Then she told me, "I'm going to be a farmer when I get bigger and I'm going to have a horse and I'm going to name her poo poo." Oh, she thinks she is so hilarious with her potty talk. Let's see how many years this lasts.

Ever Since Mother's Day

2009-06-08T12:49:00.000-07:00

Ever since Mother's Day this year, The Bean will pick a flower out of the yard (at least a couple of times a week) and give it to me and say, "Mommy, this is for you. It's for Mother's Day." So sweet.

The Restaurant Experience

2009-06-03T12:15:00.000-07:00

The Bean has been notoriously bad at restaurants ever since she was a year old. We credited her bad behavior to her poor eating habits. If you don't really care for food too much, going to restaurants can be quite boring. To curb her boredom, she'd seek out some entertainment back in the kitchen, or crawling around on the filthy floor under the table or the highlight at our favorite restaurant is the super powerful hand dryer in the bathroom which she likes to experiment with at least 3 times during our meal.

Last night, we checked out this new gourmet burger joint in Elmwood called Flame. I quickly ordered my glass of wine to help ease my usual restaurant anxiety I always have while dining with The Bean. Doug and I were pleasantly surprised with her good behavior, staying in her seat the entire time, and making sure to point it out to us too. "Look Mommy, I'm staying in my seat so I get a treat!" She did request to have one visit to check out their bathroom, but surprisingly she just used it only for it's purpose. It helped that they only had paper towels.

It did take an usually long time to get our food and since The Bean was actually hungry for once, she'd say to the waitress every time she walked by, "Where's my hot dog?" Doug and I were mortified by her rudeness, of course, and would shoosh her. But the waitress found the humor in it and would smile and giggle. When she finally did bring the food the waitress said, "see, I didn't forget your hot dog."

My screensaver

2009-05-28T10:58:00.001-07:00

Carnaval

2009-05-25T17:43:00.000-07:00

We spent most of the weekend in the Mission (in SF). A real treat since we rarely get into the city anymore. On Saturday night, Doug and I had dinner at Medjool and then we took Bart back into the city the next day to go to Carnaval with Bijou. The highlight of Carnaval was finding Kid Power Park, tucked away on Hoff alley between 16th and 17th.

Summer- our favorite season

2009-05-20T22:26:00.000-07:00

Catchin' fish

in the backyard.

And blowin' bubbles

BIG ones!

Lake Tahoe- summer edition

2009-05-17T21:21:00.000-07:00

We enjoyed our first summer weekend at our house in Tahoe. Our friends Jessica, Mike and Lola joined us and we all had a great time. Bedtime was a little tough since we tried to have the girls sleep together in the kid's bedroom, it lasted 5 minutes both nights, but they made up for it with perfect behavior during the day.

Burying their feet, endless fun!

Our new deck furniture. We can't wait to be able to dine outside in the evening. It's such a treat since it's never warm enough in Berkeley to do that.

She gives me the thumbs up.

And they're off.

Spring Concert

2009-05-09T20:03:00.000-07:00

For those of you who missed out on Bijou's spring concert (myself included), here is a peek at it. Thanks Doug for taking the video, even if it's shakey.

Swimming Progress

2009-05-09T19:56:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Mimi!

2009-03-30T13:30:00.000-07:00

Bijou and Olive made Mimi a birthday cake this weekend.

Pajama Day

2009-03-30T13:27:00.001-07:00

Last Friday, The Bean had pajama day at school. I LOVED pajama day just as much as she did because it meant the daily "getting dressed" struggle was eliminated. It was so cute to see all the kids excited to see everyone in their jammies, including the maestra (teacher).

After School

2009-03-30T13:24:00.000-07:00

It's finally warming up enough around here to play in the backyard after school. I miss our backyard horribly in the winter months. Next week, I hope to get our vegetable & herb garden planted.

New Quotes

2009-03-08T18:44:00.000-07:00

A little look inside my life, living with a three-year-old.

"Mommy, you my best friend me." (so sweet)
"Mommy, I killing on you." (so evil)
"You are not my friend!" (more evil)
"I love you so much. You are so beautiful." (whoa there)

And I'll leave you with this one.

"Mommy, Mommy, come here and look at my poop!" (she knows me so well)

Another trip to the snow

2009-03-08T18:36:00.000-07:00

I think Mother Nature likes to remind us to slow down a little. We choose to live a pretty fast-paced action-packed lifestyle most of the time so when we drive up to Tahoe, Mother Nature likes us to be snowed in. It must have snowed 4 feet in the 3 days we were there. It made for a pretty uneventful trip with our only entertainment being the hour we spent out on the deck each morning. We successfully taught The Bean how to play crazy-8's so that entertained us during the evening hours. We also baked a "cake" (brownie mix) to help Doug ring in his 43rd year. He had a pretty jet-set birthday this year starting off the week in Tahoe, then traveling to LA with a friend to catch a Laker's game and finishing off the week with a night away with me in Calistoga. Lucky guy. I guess being slow at work has it's perks!

"Mommy Lei-Lahni"

2009-03-08T18:30:00.000-07:00

Sorry we have been so M.I.A. lately over here at La Dolce Vita. It's not that we have nothing to write about, it's just that we have been busy writing and crafting over here, http://picnic.typepad.com . The Bean is still loving school and impresses us daily with her new Spanish words. Today she had Lei-Lahni over, her best friend at school. Lei- Lahni has a younger sister and the two enjoyed pretending that The Bean was the little sister and Lei-Lahni was, "Mommy Lei-Lahni."

The World Is Upside Down

2009-02-12T10:12:00.000-08:00

It's now official -- the world is completely upside down. There seemingly is no longer any sense of what is important and deserving of attention and reprimand. Take, for instance, the theatrics at the Congressional hearings where bank CEOs were bomarded with questions about ... their firms' private jets? Huh? I know this makes for good PR, our public officials fighting to combat runaway greed. But come on. Time is money, and does it really make sense for the CEO of Wells Fargo to wait in the Southwest Airlines queue? No, it doesn't. Does it make sense for a bank to loan money to someone living check to check so that said person can buy a home? No it doesn't, and that's where the focus should be.

Another example is the uproar over high-profile athletes smoking a little weed. So what if Michael Phelps made friends with a bong. He didn't test positive for anything on his way to winning 238 gold medals, and in any case, last time I checked, marijuana was hardly a performance-enhancing substance. Unless, of course, you're competing in a munchies tournament or a giggles-a-thon. I had to laugh when Mastercard yanked Phelps as a sponsor. This from a company that charges 20% interest. I say Phelps pitches his services to Visine. "In the pool, or at home with a doobie, Visine gets the red out."

2009-01-05T14:10:00.003-08:00

The big girls help the little girl build a gingerbread house. They even successfully convinced the little girl to wear her hair back into a pony tail to keep it from getting in the frosting.

"Big Al"

2009-01-05T14:06:00.001-08:00

Pre-sledding

Sledding

Post-sledding

Post-sledding

Post-sledding

Our Little Helper Girl

2009-01-05T14:00:00.000-08:00

I swear, it's so easy to keep this kid entertained. She's not very interested in her toys, all she wants to do is help us with whatever we are doing.

"Bijou, do you want to help me with the laundry?"
"YEAH!"

"Bijou, can you go get me a Kleenex?"
"Sure."

"Do you want to help Daddy shovel the snow off the deck?"
"YEAH!"

"I'm going to make some pancakes."
"No, I'm going to make some pancakes all on my own!"

Cookies For Santa

2009-01-05T13:55:00.000-08:00

I asked The Bean what she wanted to write on her note to Santa and this is exactly what she said,
"Dear Santa, I love you Santa Claus. Snuggle Bunches. Dear Mrs. Claus, Your coat is so nice. Love, Bijou"

"Dear Reindeer, Go on the sleigh with Santa. Hope you like the carrots. Love, Bijou"

Gone Sledding- our little daredevil

2009-01-05T13:37:00.000-08:00

2009-01-05T13:22:00.001-08:00

The Bean was so anxious to go out and play in the snow and build a snowman. I had been hyping her up on it for weeks, suspecting this would be her first year of really enjoying the snow. In years past, she found it a little too cold to enjoy.

I love how her eyebrows turn pink in the cold.

Admiring a snowflake. As you can see, she was knee deep in the fluffy snow. Mother Nature provided us with a nice winter greeting!

Leaning back to make a snow angel.

Helping Dad build the snowman.

Our creation.

Christmas Morning

2009-01-03T15:40:00.000-08:00

Lots of Firsts

2009-01-03T15:17:00.000-08:00

Well, our trip to Tahoe ended up being quite eventful, especially for The Bean. She got to ski for the first time, bowl for the first time, sled (real sledding, not being pulled around on a snowy deck by a rope) for the first time, and ice skate for the first time. The best part was that she showed some real talent for all of the above, except for the ice skating. Her bowling, while EXTREMELY slow, had good aim and rarely hit the bumpers. Her sledding, EXTREMELY COURAGEOUS, considering the monstrous size of the hill and the high speed of the sled on the snow. Even her little run in with a fence, while sledding with uncle Greg, didn't slow her down. Her skiing, a real natural. I was even willing to take her on her first chair lift after her lesson, but found it to be a little too complicated to have me on a snowboard and her on skis. Her skating, horrendous but quite comical, especially to herself.

Drunk On Milk

2009-01-03T15:16:00.001-08:00

These two, sure do love their "babas."

A New Trend

2009-01-03T15:09:00.000-08:00

The Bean has been refusing to take a nap for about a month now. By no means does this mean she doesn't need a nap. She still finds the car quite relaxing, often yelling at us from the back seat, "BE QUIET!" She will often fall asleep in the car after 2pm, especially if our ride involves a freeway. In Tahoe, she would occasionally fall asleep in front of the TV in the evening. I think I'm ready to make the change to no-naps, especially if it means she has a 7pm bedtime again.

Maternal Instinct

2009-01-03T15:06:00.000-08:00

The Bean continues to have maternal instinct towards animals, but is not at all interested in babies or dolls.

A True Story

2008-12-16T15:58:00.001-08:00

On the way to school yesterday, The Bean let out a couple cries from the back seat. Naturally, I asked her, "what's wrong?" She replied, "my pants are in my butt." I said, "oh, you have a wedgie." She screamed back, "NO, I don't have a wedgie!" Not knowing what a "wedgie" was, she refused to acknowledge that a wedgie was in fact causing her discomfort that morning. After a couple minutes of her whining and me watching her wriggle around her car seat from the rear view mirror, I pulled over and picked the pants out of her butt for her. For real. I swear, the things I do now that I am a mother, I would have never even imagined. Is that love, or what?

Holiday Performance

2008-12-14T20:33:00.000-08:00

Dressed Up For Santa

2008-12-06T18:26:00.001-08:00

Our annual trip to visit Santa this year turned out to be an interesting one. For starters, The Bean insisted on dressing up for Santa, which included: purple sparkly sunglasses, pigtails(!), and a fancy velvet purse. We showed up at 5:30pm sharp, hoping to be first in line for Santa. It wasn't until we had stood out in the freezing cold for 15 minutes that we realized Santa wasn't coming. I asked a carousel employee, and they said Santa wouldn't be there until 6:30pm. So we rode the carousel a few times, shared a popcorn, and checked out the Christmas decorations. We resumed our first spot in line at 6:15pm and waited in the freezing cold until 6:45pm when Santa arrived fashionably late. I was so impressed with The Bean for standing next to me for a full half-hour with no requests to be held, no darting off across the parking lot, no threats that we wouldn't stay to see Santa if she didn't behave. I guess she is choosing to be on his "nice" list this year. Yippee!!!

I'm relieved that we are not in a full-blown "why?" phase yet because when Santa appeared I immediately noticed Santa's lovely brown complexion. I wasn't quite prepared to explain why Santa didn't quite look like the Santa The Bean is familiar with from our books.

Santa's "real elf" (her words, DEFINITELY not mine) gave the crowd a little show by demonstrating the Rodger Rabbit and other popular street moves from the 80's. The Berkley crowd was extremely uncomfortable, I could feel it. We didn't know if we should laugh, clap, blush, or cry.

The Bean told Santa she wanted a candy cane for Christmas. You can see her scooping out the candy cane basket while she is being lifted onto Santa's lap above.

Thanksgiving At The Cabin

2008-12-02T14:21:00.001-08:00

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Makin' banana pancakes.
The fam at The Village At Northstar
The brave Bean has her turn on the bungy.
Mom showing off her back flips. Unfortunately, Mimi could only capture the ass shot, which is why Doug and I are on the "Thanksgiving cleanse" this week (featured in the December issue of Food and Wine magazine).
Her morning jam session on the guitar.
Rocking her new forest friend.

My Sensible Child

2008-12-02T14:14:00.000-08:00

I've asked The Bean several times now what she wants from Santa this Christmas, she always says:
shoes and purple socks.

Huh? What about the princess playhouse? Dora The Explorer anything? Bike? Pony?

Capturing The Holiday Photo at the SF Zoo

2008-11-24T11:21:00.001-08:00

Photo #1: Pre-pep talk and ice cream bribe.
Photo #2: Listening to pep talk and ice cream bribe.
Photo #3: Cooperation. I guess she really wanted that ice cream.

Another Milestone

2008-11-21T12:38:00.001-08:00

At Mimi and Grandpa's, Mimi set up The Bean up in front of the tv with a a pint-sized table and chair, complete with snacks and her very own sketchbook, and a PURPLE Sharpie! Apparently, Mimi and Grandpa don't mind getting permanent marker on their furniture.

Anyway, Mimi gave a little direction, a how-to for stick figure drawing, and look!!! Not only did she master it, but she added her own little twist (the legs come down from the arms), which I bragged to friends "it looks like a simple modern danish design." I guess Maestra Tanya was right, she has officially graduated to "phase 2."

Trip To Mimi and Grandpa's

2008-11-21T12:26:00.002-08:00

The Bean had a fun filled weekend at Mimi and Grandpa's house while Doug and I moved into the cabin. It was a scourching hot November weekend, apparent in the second photo. Mimi did a good job keeping her entertained with trips to the beach, park, farm, and to the carousel. She'd spend her evenings on Grandpa's lap at the computer entertained with the endless supplies in the junk drawer at the desk. Her highlights (all things she isn't allowed to play with at home): permanent markers, nail clippers, dental floss and stickers (i.e. stamps). Mimi enjoyed her time with her oldest grandchild, but was definitely warn out by day three. When I came to pick The Bean up, Mimi still had on her bloody shirt, the one that was soiled on the shoulder from The Bean's face plant at the park earlier that day.

Team In Training

2008-11-07T14:19:00.000-08:00

Happy Halloween

2008-11-01T15:51:00.001-07:00

"Kitty," her alter ego

2008-11-01T15:38:00.001-07:00

As you know, The Bean was a kitty for Halloween this year. Apparently, a popular choice, since 3 out of 5 of the kids in our trick-or-treating group last night were kitties. Anyway, The Bean seems to take on a whole new personality when she has on her kitty outfit. Unlike The Bean, Kitty is not shy around strangers, if fact she will march right up to them and proudly wag her tail. If the stranger also happens to have a bowl full of chocolate in front of them, she'll help herself to a piece and then stroll past them into their living room, suggesting she'd like a warm bowl of milk and a snuggle by the fire.

A few other characteristics, I really appreciate about Kitty:
1. She'll try new things.
2. She dances.
3. And best of all, she LISTENS!

On The Upside

2008-10-25T17:19:00.000-07:00

After my last post, I think I need to say something spectacular about The Bean so she doesn't suffer emotional trauma reading this blog as an adult.

Earlier this month, we had our first ever parent-teacher conference. Like most parents, I was slightly nervous going into it, although it seemed a little silly since the expectations can't possibly be too high for 3-year-olds. I was expecting mostly good with a few "areas to work on." But no, the teacher raved about how popular she is in class, gets along well with everyone, extremely social, outgoing and participates well in circle time, stays interested in all class activities, is already using her Spanish in the classroom which is a sign she will be "fluent" by the end of the year. And the most surprising positive feedback, was that she is a great artist and has already demonstrated "phase 2" art skills which is unexpected for her age.

Well, gee whiz, we could not have been more proud when we left the meeting. The only comment she wrote on our little slip to take home was, "continue to encourage and support the development of Bijou's skills and acquisition of Spanish." Oops, that sounds more like a homework assignment for us, I guess she has noticed that we haven't been as diligent with our Roseta Stone as we had originally anticipated.

Here is a little photo of The Bean with her classmate, Lily, pre-Halloween Parade.

Halloween Sucks!

2008-10-21T14:07:00.000-07:00

I wish we hadn't canceled our plans to attend the harvest festival in Half Moon Bay this past weekend. Perhaps, I could have avoided one of the "worst days EVER!!!" with The Bean. Mimi had informed me that 9 million people were expected to attend the festival, which inevitably meant, gridlock traffic and long lines to ride the ponies.

A solution to our problem... change our plans and go to the much-less-frequented patch in Soquel. Oh, you know, the one with the caged monster in the box, set with a motion sensor so every time you walk past the damn thing, it gives The Bean a heart attack followed by "I WANT TO GO HOME!!!"

Distraction only worked for a few minutes, then we strapped her into the car and waited for Kate and Ali to finish picking their pumpkins. Fortunately, Ali was completely oblivious to the terror taunting the pumpkin patch this year. Just as they were climbing into the car, Kate ran into a friend and proceeded to catch up with her outside of the car. Her friend's husband poked his head into the car and started filling us in on the details of their recent trip to Disneyland. After a few minutes, The Bean yells, "Roll up the window! Stop Talking! I want to go home!" to this poor guy.

I was completely mortified at this point. If you ever want to piss me off you can either:
1. Embarrass me in front of somebody I hardly know. or
2. Be unappreciative of some fun activity I have planned and drove 2 hours to execute for you.

It only got worst when she yelled at me, Kate and Mimi the rest of the way home, making Ali upset. Then, yelled at Greg's sister who had made us lunch back at the house. She clearly needed a nap, but after laying down with her for a full hour, she told me she was "all done" with her nap, even though she had never fallen asleep.

Finally, at 3pm when I was sitting down to eat my first meal of the day, The Bean starts throwing a hissy-fit about wanting to carve Kate's pumpkin, I guess her own pumpkin wasn't good enough. I couldn't take it, so I dragged her down to the car and strapped her into her car seat, don't worry the windows were down, for a 10 minute time-out/hyperventilation session.

When I stomped back upstairs to finish my lunch, I found an empty plate on the floor, I guess the dog ate it.

My only upside to the day, was after the traumatic timeout, The Bean was a perfect angel the rest of the day!

Surprisingly, when I got home and checked out the photos from the day, she looked happy! I guess in 20 years, we can remember that this was a horrible day, thanks to this blog. I don't mean to be all negative, but I prefer to be honest and report the good, the bad and the ugly. And Sunday was definitely one of our "ugly" days.

Newlyweds

2008-10-14T19:18:00.000-07:00

This weekend, we had the pleasure of formally introducing Greg into our family with a beautiful wedding set on the ocean bluff in La Selva Beach. I don't think I could have hoped for a better addition to our family. Not only does he smoke menthols, but he hired two low riders from Watsonville to take him and his new bride (my sista Kate), his Best Man, Ricky and me (Matron of Honor) to the reception. The best part was the hydrolic system that bumped them around in the back seat. Hilarious!!!

Olive performed her Junior Bridesmaid duties beautifully, and I was able to pull off my speech to 150, only after about 5 glasses of wine, but The Bean only performed her flower girl responsibilities half way down the aisle. However, she danced her ass of at the reception, so she made up for it. She also got a kick out of Kate standing on the table to throw her bouquet, so she mimicked her for the next half hour by pulling random flowers from the vases and throwing them at the dancing crowd.

Still awaiting photos from the momentous occasion.

What's to blame for the sagging economy?

2008-10-14T10:12:00.000-07:00

It all started, of course, with crooked lenders and borrowers, but what drove this behavior in the first place, especially on the buyer side? Reality television, that's what. The average consumer has become entirely untethered from reality, and ironically enough, reality television is to blame. While viewers buy into the notion that what they are watching is genuine and pure, it is in fact the biggest collection of contrived nonsense that has ever been produced. I dare say the Flintstones offer a more accurate depiction of reality. Fred engages in various hijinx that invariably backfire, much to the dismay of his wife. That's my life right there. As real as it gets.

Have you seen this show about the family with eight young children, including sextuplets? This is not reality television; it's a horror movie. Except it isn't. The fact is these people have sponsors coming out of their ears, and what would be, under normal circumstances, hand-to-mouth desperation, is, in fact, a quite comfy existence. As best I can tell, neither parent works, and yet they have six of every toddler accessory you can imagine.

Or what about one of the reality television stalwarts, Survivor? Never mind that this show is nothing more than Gilligan's Island on steroids. What's real about it? A diverse group of people stuck on an island competing for prizes? If I were stuck on an island with a bunch of knuckleheads, I would detach myself from the group as quickly as possible and set the island on fire so I could be rescued. That's reality. Desperate times call for desperate measures, not a sprint through an obstacle course so that I can be ferried away for an all you can eat crab dinner. Sure, contestants have to eat bugs, endure the heat, and so forth. But at the end of every season, there they are, yucking it up and smiling, recalling the wonderful times they all shared.

All of these shows are spreading the message that adversity is meaningless, that every situation ends with a warm fuzzy. How else to explain the individual who signs the paperwork for a mortgage that will lead to a monthly debt burden that exceeds his or her gross income? Or the lender who accepts the bus driver's stated income of $150K? How else to explain the investor who treats a package of home loans as essentially risk-free? It's the reality television effect -- an action, no matter how idiotic, will not bestow adverse consequences on the actor. Everything works out in the end. Except that it doesn't.

Birthday Letter

2008-10-07T11:21:00.000-07:00

Dear Beany (we hardly ever call you this anymore, but it has become your Internet alias, so I'll stick with it),

We just celebrated your third birthday with all 15 of your friends at our house this weekend. I went with a camping theme this year, which was an odd choice since we have yet to take you camping. However, we will be spending much of your third year in the woods, so you will quickly find out how much fun camping can be.

You have officially graduated from the terrible twos and are a sweet and quite funny little girl. Yesterday, was "picture day" at school and you choose to dress-up, by wearing your fuzzy kitty ears and ballet slippers. It's been at least 6 months since you've let me dress you and yesterday was no different. I have to admit, I was slightly embarrassed when I showed up at school and all the other girls were in their fancy dresses, tights and boots, with their hair combed back into spectacular up-do's, and there you were with your usual comfortable cotton clothing, kitty ears and ballet slippers. However, I heard from another Mom how difficult it was to get their kid dressed that morning in the outfit they had picked out, so I'm glad that we have decided not to pick that battle with you and allow you to be yourself, kitty ears and all.

Note: You refuse to wear any clothing item with buttons or snaps. I'm not sure if it is some rare phobia or if it's just because you have not quite mastered buttoning and unbuttoning things yourself. And we all know you must do EVERYTHING by yourself.

Speaking of kitties, this must be some rebellion against your kitty-disliking parents, you are in LOVE with the feline set. You carry a kitty stuffed animal with you everyday to school and have requested to be a cat for Halloween this year. Thank goodness for us, that you also love dogs and want a "little dog with a sweater" really bad. I felt horrible when I mentioned to you that Alistair was going to bring his new doggie to your birthday party, and I guess you assumed it meant it was your birthday gift from him, because you shrieked, "My Dog, My Dog, I can't wait to see My Dog!"

Your attention span is still only about 3 and a half minutes, unless we are talking about TV. You would watch TV all day, if you could. Your favorite shows right now are Charlie and Lola, Handy Manny, Little Einsteins and Mickey's Clubhouse.

As far as books go, you get one at nap and 3 at bedtime and for the last 2 weeks you request the exact same books: Miss Spiders Tea Party, Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer, and Maisy Big, Maisy Small. There are a few books you have memorized in their entirety and can recite to us. Those are: Maisy Big, Maisy Small, There Was a Coyote Who Swallowed a Flea, Goodnight Moon, Five Little Ducks, Azul El Sombrero, Verde El Sombrero and Wigs.

Like me, you are a little helper and a whiner. You help me cook, do laundry, sweep, wash windows or Windex anything. Your whining gets to me daily and we are constantly trying to get you to use a "regular voice." However, you have never been a tantrum thrower, so I count my blessings.

You have mastered good manners this year and regularly say, "please," "thank you," "bless you," and "sorry." You also often tell your Dad and I, "good job" if we are doing something you like.

In just over a month, you have learned a ton of Spanish. You have mastered your numbers and colors, and yesterday, when I asked you to take a shower you said, "no me gusto." I had to look that one up because I didn't even know what it meant. That definitely won't be the last time that happens. You also like to quiz me on my Spanish and if I do it right you say, "Good Job Mommy!"

Happy Third Birthday! I love you.
Love, Mom
P.S. If we ask you how old you are, you tell us you are 3 and 7.?

Revenge of the Nerds

2008-10-06T14:18:00.000-07:00

My kid is so weird! Yep, that's right, she really is stamping Christmas trees onto her belly while wearing underwear on her head.

¡Cumpleaños felices!

2008-10-06T14:13:00.001-07:00

Good question

2008-09-24T13:25:00.000-07:00

My wife asked a very good question the other day. To paraphrase -- what are you good at? Well, as with most things, it's all relative, and thus difficult to answer. Good father? She said so, though perhaps out of desperation to think of something in response to her query. Good provider? Ditto. To me, being good at something means you have realized at least close to your full potential. Or, if your potential is stratospheric, achieving a level of accomplishment that sets you far apart from your peers. My potential in anything is decidedly pedestrian, so the latter metric does not apply. As to the former, I guess the answer is Hmmmmm. I was a pretty good distance runner at one time, arguably close to my potential. But those days are long gone, or at least in hibernation. I do provide for my family -- we have a hot tub and eat sushi weekly -- and I think my children would say that I am a loving, understanding, and compassionate father. My wife would say that I am .... her husband? Really neat? A good provider, i.e., no debt collector knocking at our door? I don't know. In terms of leaving a legacy, is it really so important that one leave a lasting impression acknowledged by strangers far and wide? I am happy, my children appear happy, and I trust I have something to do with that. For me, that's enough. Perhaps that makes me a simpleton or naive, but I'll take it. Otherwise, the pressure would doom me to a life of perceived inadequacy.

Dance Class

2008-09-24T10:02:00.001-07:00

I'm so excited that The Bean is old enough this year to start dance class, learn how to ski, play dress-up, store, tea party, etc.. I jumped at the chance to sign her up for the class and got her excited by showing her tons of pictures of me in my various dance costumes at her age. She was ecstatic when she found this sparkly purple get-up at the dance shop and demanded she wear it for the rest of the day.

On the first day of class, we met Stella at the downtown Y, and the girls were so excited, they jumped around on their toes, and complimented each other on their pretty outfits. The parents were not allowed to stay in the class, we had to wait outside. The first 20 minutes, The Bean participated and had fun, and then all of a sudden she got hysterical and wanted "Mommy!!!!" She had enough of that class and refused to go back. Damn. I think the 3:30pm dance time is just not going to work for her as she transitions to her new school schedule. She misses me and demands my undivided attention after-school. To cart her off to another activity just won't fly with this mama's girl.

Hopefully, the Saturday morning parent-me dance class we start in November has better success.

This and that

2008-09-24T10:01:00.000-07:00

I noticed that my profile on blogger has received 161 views. Not a huge number, but sufficient to be creepy and invigorating all at once. Unfortunately for me, since age 7 or so, I have never again been this cute, I have lost a lot of hair in places where hair is appropriate and encouraged, and I have taken on a far more curmudgeonly view of the world.

So check out the Bean's face. I certainly want her to be a, and this is my own term, pragmatic risk-taker. This is what I strive for, but indeed I went overboard on the concrete slides. In my defense, I braked our descent with my now shredded forearm, and I actually thought for a moment that the Bean had escaped the ordeal with nary a blemish. But when we twisted upright from our undisciplined ride, and I saw her clutching one side of her face, I realized that she did not escape injury. But to her credit, she cried only briefly, and indeed, later apologized profusely for getting hurt. What a trooper!

The University, I see, is going after some of the tree-sitters to recover the costs of securing the oak grove, and ultimately removing the most stubborn individuals from the trees. Their attorney is crying foul -- "they don't have this kind of money" -- but what kind of defense is that? If they don't have the money, then they shouldn't impose such costs on others. In this country, we really need at least some variation of the English rule -- in formal litigation and other similar adversarial formats, the loser pays. In this case, if they cannot furnish monetary restitution, then compensate the University in kind -- pick up trash, clean graffiti, maintain the landscaping, etc. There is no reason these deadbeats should receive a free pass simply because they are ... yeah, deadbeats.

How do you like this financial crisis? Thousands of individuals and families take out loans any idiot would know are beyond the means of the borrower, and the federal government steps in to use tax dollars to bail these people out. And the government goes further and props up the institutions greedy enough to underwrite such loans in the first place. Of course, this is a highy simplified version of events, and indeed, were the government not to intervene, the innocent bystanders, i.e., responsible lenders and borrowers, could feel an even greater negative impact. But I cannot help but feel frustrated. Frustrated by the stupidity of the borrowers, the avarice of the lenders, and the failure of the government to adequately discipline the players in this crisis. There are seemingly no checks and balances, and no consequences for irresponsible behavior. The borrower who puts no money down has nothing to lose -- there is only upside. Some will say the borrower puts at risk his or her credit rating, but many of these borrowers, under normal and rational conditions, had no hope of purchasing a home, so what is this buyer sacrificing? Nothing.

Which highlights what I believe is part of the problem -- the alarmingly pervasive view that home ownership is an inalienable right. Home ownership is a privilege that comes from hard work, or, in some cases, merely circumstance or good fortune. Unfortunately, or not, that is the way the cookie crumbles. There is no excuse for behavior underwritten by the irrational and unsupported assumption that real estate values only increase. If this were true, then everyone should just leverage to the hilt and acquire real estate. Of course, no one would subscribe to the reasonableness of such a universal outcome, but why then do so many people individually follow this course? It is the classic fallacy that there is money on the table to be taken. In a free market, this is never the case, at least not with any kind of durability. Such market imperfections are quickly eradicated.

Some consumer groups have advocated the institution of investor education programs, but I question the merit of such endeavors. In the current situation, there are unending reports of home buyers who agreed to mortgages whose payments, together with property tax and insurance obligations, consumed close to 100% of their net earnings. Should it be necessary to formally instruct these individuals that their actions place them on the precipice of fiscal disaster? If we must offer training to such individuals, I propose the following 15-second tutorial. Take stock of your means. Don't be greedy. Exercise prudency. And if you don't, be prepared to suffer the full consequences. How's that? Perhaps nobody ever got filthy rich following such advice, but I have to believe nobody descended into financial ruin either.

Drake's Beach

2008-09-24T09:51:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday, we had a rare free day on the calendar so we spontaneously planned a day trip to Drake's Beach. Drake's Beach is about an hour and half from here, near Tomales Bay, and famous in the Bay Area for its oyster harvest. Regardless of the 60 degree weather, The Bean stripped down to her skivvies and took a dip in the Pacific. We also enjoyed fish tacos and stinky grilled cheese sandwiches with heirloom tomatoes from the delicious Drake's Beach Cafe. Yum!

Hablo Espanol

2008-09-24T09:41:00.000-07:00

The other night, while reading books before bed, I decide to quiz The Bean on her colors and clothing items in Spanish. One of the few things I remember from Spanish class in high school. I was shocked... she knew them all! Then the next day, she was referring to her teachers not just by name but saying, "Maestra Tanya" and "Maestra Rosa."

After school, Rosa asked her, "¿Dónde está la chaqueta? " And she answered in English BUT correctly, "oh, it's in the classroom."

I know children "are like sponges" and all. But this is really coming more quickly then I expected. Doug and I better start hitting the Rosetta Stone soon, or The Bean will far surpass us by Christmas.

No Nap

2008-09-24T09:34:00.000-07:00

On Saturday morning, Olive was pleasantly surprised when The Bean climbed into bed with her and fell asleep. There have been 2 days now, where The Bean didn't nap at school, so her schedule is a little out of whack. It's unfortunate because I'm excited to see her after school, but rather than enjoy the afternoon together, she is a crabby whiny mess.

First BIG boo-boo

2008-09-18T19:00:00.000-07:00

A childhood spent in Berkeley would simply not be complete without a few war wounds from the cement slide at Codornices Park. Thankfully, I was not present when the incident took place, so Doug was spared the bitch session from me in front of the after-work crowd at the park. Accidents do happen, although I think Doug pushes the limits of his thrill seeking daughter. I couldn't help myself from saying, "I told you so," just once, before I moved on.

On a lighter note, the whole situation was quickly diffused back at home when Doug picked up a voicemail from our Tahoe realtor, with the exciting news that the sellers had removed all of their contingencies. So, as long as inspections don't bring up any unfortunate surprises, it looks like we will be celebrating the holidays in the Sierras. With friends and family too, I hope!!!

"Booty Shop"

2008-09-09T19:50:00.000-07:00

This is one of The Bean's favorite activities lately, "Booty Shop." It has nothing to do with her booty but rather beauty. She especially likes to play this game with Olive but while she is at her Mom's this week, I'll have to do.

1-2-3-4

2008-09-09T19:45:00.000-07:00

The Bean and Stella sure have some groovy dance moves. Check out those ballerina hands on Stella! These two have some serious talent. You can check out their inspirational Feist video too. They both LOVE watching it on You Tube.

Lesson Learned The Hard Way

2008-09-06T14:31:00.000-07:00

Bijou and Franny had a little play date this morning at the pool. It was a beautiful day, 73 degrees at 10am, and the pool was already packed, as expected. Everything was great and routine about our visit, including The Bean's constant requests for the hot tub and ice cream and her frequent trips to the water jug. And then everything went from great to horrible in just a flash. The Bean was enjoying her ice cream sandwich poolside with me and Franny was practicing her humpty dumpty fall into her Mom's arms off the edge of the pool, when they pulled his blue limp body onto the pool deck.

Then I heard that blood curdling scream, the one that reminds you that we really are animals, "NOOOOOOOOOO." My stomach and every parent at the pool today felt sick. Even though it wasn't your child, your eyes couldn't help but fill with tears.

State law only requires that they keep a life guard on duty from Memorial Day to Labor Day. Fortunately, the pool being at the Claremont, the place was swimming with doctors. And although it took an agonizing 10 minutes for the paramedics to arrive, the boy was being tended to immediately.

I don't know exactly how the boy is, alive or dead, brain function or not. We were too disturbed and upset to hang around, but I think he was not breathing when he was first pulled him from the pool, then resuscitated and choked up water, and then breathing. The paramedics drove away without their sirens on and the boy was pink.

To the mother's defense, she had two kids with her today, without her husband. The baby in her arms looked about 8 months old and probably required most of her attention. The boy looked to be about 5, so I assume he had just graduated from his floatie wings this summer or maybe last.

This was a hard reminder, to keep a close eye on The Bean at the pool. This is a tough act because she doesn't stop moving and it contradicts the relaxing you are suppose to be doing at the pool. She often rejects wearing floatie wings and demands cruising around the pool "All By Myself!" She is also quite confident and pays less attention to being safe, than she used to. This afternoon, I plan to have a little talk with her, about what REALLY happened and tell her about our new pool rule, "floatie wings at all times or no swimming at all."

Watch you kids at the pool, lake, river, etc. It isn't worth taking your eyes off them, even for a minute.

Warming Up

2008-09-05T12:05:00.000-07:00

The Bean has been busy this week making Popsicles, watching puppet shows, reading books, stringing necklaces and making friends, I think. Yesterday, when I dropped her off, this little boy named George, walked up and said, "Hi Bijou!" Later, I asked her if George was her friend and she said, "no." I said, "Really? Why not? He seems really nice and he's cute too." Then she said, "No, he not nice, he not cute." I think she just likes to pretend she has a horrible time at school in hopes that I won't make her go back the next week.

This morning, she held my hand and walked to her classroom as usual. But then she stalled before she went into her classroom and said she had to use the bathroom, then dilly-dallied through her bathroom routine. Then she said she needed to put her sweatshirt in her cubbie. I thought that she was just trying keep me around as long as possible, but maybe, she is really starting to settle into her new routine. Then guess what? After a hug and kiss goodbye, I left, and she didn't cry!!! Hallelujah, I get one guilt free day to myself this week! And now of course, we have the weekend, and we will be back to square one on Monday.

First Day of School- my take

2008-09-03T12:45:00.001-07:00

The Bean was very nervous about the first day of school, I think you can see it in her eyes in this first photo. I was a bit nervous too, mostly because I too would be terrified to go to school where they only spoke a language I didn't understand.

The morning went surprisingly smooth, getting out the door on time at 8:10am. We are usually both in our pajamas until at least 9:30am. Doug and I were both there on her first day, and she walked confidently up to school and into her classroom but as soon as we went to leave, the tears came and she clung to us for dear life. Tanya, her teacher, was nice enough to hold her while we left the classroom. Apparently, she only cried for a few minutes and was fine the rest of the day. She definitely was not the only one crying, and one poor little boy was still crying when I came to pick The Bean up at 3pm. I sure hope he didn't have to go to the aftercare too.

She seems to have hardly even noticed that they spoke to her in Spanish all day. This was exactly what one of the parents at the new parent orientation told us to expect.

I prepared a little pep talk for The Bean the morning of her first day of school. I told her all her friends were starting school, and she just wanted to know if they would be at her school. I also told her that Tanya is like her mommy at school so if she needs anything or feels sad and needs a snuggle, she should just ask Tanya. On our drive home from school, she was singing some song that went something like this, "Mommy Teacher, Teacher Mommy, Teacher Mommy, Teacher Mommy!" I guess that part of my speech really sunk in for her.

As far as my emotions go, it was amazing to have 6 hours to myself without my quizzical, mischevious, whiny but adorable 30 pound baggage. I think becoming a parent can makes us the most efficient people ever. I got SO MUCH accomplished!

I did get a little teary eyed when I dropped Doug off at Bart and a song came up on the iPod that I used to always dance with The Bean to, when she was little. That chapter of our lives is forever closed and although it has been rough sometimes, I will miss it.

First Day of School- her take

2008-09-03T12:33:00.000-07:00

"I like Tanya, I like Tanya's friend too!" (Tanya is her teacher and I assume "her friend" is the assistant teacher, Rosa.)

"I can't like the boys. I like girls." (I guess it starts this early.)

"The teacher say, "chugga chugga choo choo," when we walk to the bafroom. But I don't say, "chugga chugga choo choo."

"I felt sad at nap time, so I just open my eyes."

"We go on dat slide. We don't go on dat slide. Dat slide too hot. We go on dis slide."

Me: "Did you understand what the teacher was saying to you today?"
The Bean: "YES." (Then looks at me, like duh!, why wouldn't I?)
Me thinking: Uh, maybe because they are speaking Spanish and you only speak English!

School Prep

2008-09-03T12:22:00.000-07:00

Lil Farm

2008-09-03T12:18:00.000-07:00

The Bean and Edie visit the baby cow, feed the goats and chase the chickens at Little Farm. The Bean even flashes her little boobies. I've had to hide this dress from her so she isn't tempted to wear this provocative dress to school.

Princess party

2008-09-03T12:12:00.000-07:00

The Bean's first, and probably not the last, princess party! Thanks Maddie! And thank you for letting me stick my finger in your cake before you even had a chance to blow the candles!

Note: Her hair is wet, it isn't some obscene amount of hair gel.

Bijou hangs with Ali

2008-09-03T11:53:00.000-07:00

During our last few weeks of summer, we got to spend some time with our beloved Alistair. Ali definitely enjoys Bijou's company and Bijou is now assuming the role of older cousin. She likes to hold him in her lap, even though he is nearly as big as she and give him Eskimo kisses. Although, when she has had enough of his company, she'll usually pull me into another room to play one-on-one so she doesn't have to share my attention, and if Ali toddles in, she says, "Girls Only Ali!"

We also got to hang with Ali's favorite buddy, Vaughn. Such a cutie! Those two will be causing some trouble on the East Side in 15 years, breaking some hearts.

Poppi's car

2008-09-03T11:48:00.000-07:00

The Bean gets a ride from Mimi in Poppi's new yellow car! It's funny that Mimi is the one driving for The Bean's first sports car experience because her max speed on the freeway is usually 60 mph. Although, she made the ride fun by stopping at a fruit stand to buy strawberries and pet the horses.

Don't you dare even think of putting the top down, it terrifies The Bean.

Lake Tahoe Update

2008-08-28T15:06:00.000-07:00

We had such a nice time up in Tahoe, that we decided to do a little house hunting while we were up there for our very own cabin in the woods. The time seems right since prices are down about 20% from when we looking eagerly for a place 2 years ago. Doug can't pass up a good investment opportunity and we are both excited to spend our holidays in the snow with family and our summers at the lake with friends.

Doug spent an afternoon with a realtor looking at several properties and none of them were quite right. At the end of the tour, she mentioned a house that was not on the market yet, but the owners were suppose to be signing the papers to list the place that afternoon. From the photos, we fell in love! Then we made a trip back to Tahoe to see it in person, with Olive and The Bean in tow. There is still a small issue that we need to resolve with the sellers but we are confidant at this point that a deal will be reached so I'm going to go ahead and show everyone a sneak peak of our new home!

Lake Tahoe

2008-08-16T17:25:00.001-07:00

REAL toothpaste

2008-08-06T14:27:00.000-07:00

I think I was a little late hopping on the bandwagon on this one, but the dentist introduced The Bean to "REAL" toothpaste last week, and she LOVES it! Rinse and spit, repeat, repeat, repeat, this is right up her alley. Yesterday, when we weren't paying enough attention to her, she helped herself to a couple tablespoons of the stuff. I was bracing myself for an evening full of vomit, but instead we all had a good night sleep until 7:15am, with no 3am intruders!!! Hallelujah!

Kohl's

2008-08-04T17:43:00.000-07:00

Ever since Stella showed up to music class in the most adorable Flora & Henri-esque dress, purchased by her grandparents at Kohl's, in their hometown of Milwaukee, also, the birthing place of Kohl's, I have been eager to go.

Fortunately, the time was right on Saturday on our way home from Santa Cruz. The Bean was ecstatic about their snazzy shopping cart and elevators and Doug and I were anxious to find some gems at discount prices. In the end, Kohl's was a big fat disappointment. But it kept The Bean happily entertained for thirty minutes so it was not at all a waste of time, at least for me.

Marine World

2008-08-04T14:40:00.000-07:00

ok, I guess it is technically called Six Flags Discovery Kingdom, but it was Marine World when I was a kid, so we will still call it Marine World. Kind of like how, AT&T Park with always be Pac Bell in our house.

Anyway, we took The Bean to the amusement park yesterday and low and behold her favorite part was the cartoon characters. Yes, that's right, the ones who most two-year-olds run from in the other direction. Her favorites were Tweety and Marvin The Martian. We couldn't pull her away from Marvin The Martian and I think he started to get a little annoyed. When she first approached, Marvin shook hands, hugged and posed for a photo, but after about 25 minutes of her hanging around, he started to look a little uncomfortable and basically ignored her. Then, he was whisked off by security for his mandatory break, I assume.

"Where da bug going, Mom?" (She thought the Martian looked like a bug.)

"He's going home."

"In his car?"

"Yeah, in his car."

So off we went to see Shukah, the killer whale, perform her tricks. Thirty minutes later we emerge from the Shukah Stadium and The Bean immediately notices the return of "The Bug." Rather than be delighted, she looks confused and is mad at me for lying to her about him going home in his car. It took some apologizing, but I eventually got her to enjoy the rest of her time at Marine World.

We finished the day off with four rides on the carousal.

Random thoughts from the People's Republic of Berkeley

2008-07-27T12:55:00.001-07:00

In my defense, I have consulted the parenting books from time to time over the past 13 plus years. But as I have said before, my child's behavior, which not suprisingly is my main concern, does not necessarily collapse toward some kind of observable mean or tendency. Kids are idiosyncratic in every sense of the word, and while the experts might dispense the occasional nugget, for example, place the knives at an elevation far above your toddler's head, for the most part the advice is no less a roll of the dice than my own instincts. To wit, the Bean's recent tendency to stutter. For someone who is two plus years and in the throes of rapid development, it just makes sense to me that the last thing a parent should do is to call attention to the stuttering and thereby identify it as some kind of problem. Do not start or complete sentences for your toddler, and most certainly do not initiate a Porky Pig imitation at the first signs of stuttering. Just ride it out. In most cases, it cures itself organically. How many adults do you know who stutter?

Random thoughts:

I'm in the gym the other day, ESPN on the TV, and what do you think is on? Poker. Since when is playing cards a sport? Doing the dishes is more of a sport than poker. At least the dishcleaning requires some balance and coordination. As best I can tell, poker only requires bluffing and lying, which makes it no different than politics now that I think about it. Move the poker match over to C-Span where it belongs.

I cannot believe what is going on over by the Memorial Stadium oak grove. Dozens of hippies on the roadway median, just camping out and having a gay old time. Aren't there laws against loitering and/or creating a public nuisance? What do you think would happen if I set up a tent down on Shattuck across from Chez Panisse and started waving around my "Chop down the oaks, already" signs? For though few remaining nut jobs still up in the tree, I suggest blaring noise at them from closely mounted bullhorns 24/7, and throwing on the klieg lights every night so they cannot sleep. POW treatment basically. They will be gone from those trees within two days, I guarantee it.

42 years it has taken me, but I have finally found an unassailable truth. There is not a woman alive who can resist keeping score. It's no different than the moth flying into the flame or the fly dining on the steamy turd. The behavior is hard-wired and it's here to stay. But it's not just the keeping score, it's how the score is kept. For example, if the man is doing something he is supposed to do, such as working, no points are earned. If the man is doing something that is not part of his responsibilities, but it fails to deliver rest and relaxation for the woman, no points are earned. If the woman is doing anything other than resting and relaxing, including annoying the man, points are earned. For example:

Woman: It's your turn to watch the baby; I've been at it for the last ten hours.
Man: But I've been at work for the last 12 hours. Can I not take ten minutes to gather myself?
Woman: Ten minutes? You are already ten hours behind.
Man: Huh? 12 hours to 10. I am two hours ahead, not that that means anything.
Woman: It means you are wrong. 10 hours to zero. You are supposed to go work, so no points are earned.
Man: So if we are running a pointocracy here, why should I go to work if I receive no points?
Woman: Because otherwise you would lose points.
Man: But if I earn no points by going to work, what points am I losing by not going?
Woman: That's my point. You don't have any points.
Man: This is pointless.
Woman: You're pointless. I have plenty.

And finally, a word of caution to anyone considering hiring an interior designer. We recently did so to help us with paint color choices, and I truly had no appreciation for how many colors there are. We managed to narrow choices for one room down to three, and I painted large swatches on each of two walls of the room. The designer comes over, and rather than giving an opinion on which of the three works best, she now wants us to add a few drops of white to one of the colors to see what happens. Look, I want a nice color for the room, one that I will be happy with. Do I need the ideal color? I do not. At this point, the designer is truly driving me nuts, and it's costing me $120/hour for the privilege. Talk about reverse psychology -- paying someone to make you crazy.

Stuttering

2008-07-24T12:41:00.001-07:00

Oh my God, I don't know where this came from, but The Bean woke up one day and was a stuttering mess. It feels like an eternity for her to get just one word out. Realistically, it's probably just about 25 seconds but I think the little "issue" has tagged about 30 minutes onto our routine in the morning. Apparently, Doug was concerned because he picked up a parenting book for the first time in 13-1/2 years, since he first became a father. Lucky for him, the first sentence read, "Whatever you do, don't ask your child to slow down?"

"Lucky for him?"

Yes, lucky for him because I had just asked The Bean, "Honey, I just think you need to try and slow down a little."

oops, sorry, my instinct was wrong.

The privileged life

2008-07-24T12:22:00.000-07:00

Every Friday, our house-cleaners arrive at 9am to clean our house. The Bean and I usually plan our departure at the same time so we are out of their way. Each week, The Bean asks, "Whooz dat?"

"It's the house cleaners Honey, isn't it nice of them to come and clean our house for us?"

Yesterday, The Bean and I went to Lake Anza and when we got home we were so grubby we needed to take a shower. We had so much sand rolled up in the cuffs of our clothes that the bathroom floor was covered in sand. When The Bean stepped out of the shower and onto the sandy floor she whined, "Eew, is all sandy! The house cleaners clean it probably."

I was so embarrassed that my child had not seen me clean the house enough times to think I was capable of sweeping up the floor myself. It was only Wednesday, did she really think I was so lazy that I would leave the floor all sandy till Friday?

I quickly responded, "uh, No. Mommy will sweep up the floor." Then, I grabbed the dust pan and purposely got on my hands and knees and swept up the floor for her two eyes to see.

The lesson, I hope: We are not too good or too lazy or too busy to clean up after our self.

Public Restroom Tour

2008-07-24T12:13:00.000-07:00

The Bean has been out of diapers for a few months now, so we have made our rounds of the public restrooms in Berkeley and all the other places we go. She has even figured out what her favorite thing is about each bathroom. The pink soap at Costco and Target, the hand lotion at the Claremont, the extra strong "hair dryer" at Tacubaya, etc. I let her pee on the grass at the park because there is either no facilities, or the facilities are too disgusting to use, especially for someone who needs to hold the rim to keep themselves from falling into the toilet.

I'm starting to think that she requests the bathroom, just to check it out, even if she doesn't actually have to go.

Oh, and another thing... The Bean tends to use a very loud voice in the bathroom. Here are a couple embarrassing things she has said to me this week in the public restrooms, while other people were in the bathroom too.

"Mommy, let me touch your boobies."

"Mommy, I pooped, it's a big one."

and she was also singing some song she made up about "GYNAS." Rhymes with?

Ferry Ride to SF

2008-07-22T21:28:00.000-07:00

Her independence continues...

2008-07-22T13:37:00.001-07:00

I've started to talk to The Bean regularly about her "Spanish school" she will be starting in just over a month. During our conversation yesterday she said to me, "You don't go, you don't hold my hand."

Geez. Yesterday, I was your best friend and now this.

On a side note, since this is the dumping ground for factoids about your life, Mimi sent me this link today, it's about your great, great, great, great grandparents:
http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~anderson1836/

Hopefully, Mimi puts together a family tree so it will be simple for us to add our generations.

A little reminder

2008-07-21T13:22:00.000-07:00

Today, The Bean said to me, "Mom, you best friend me." I think she meant, "Mom, you're my best friend."

Of course, I had to write this down, so I can remind her when she is 16, that this is how she felt about me when she was 2.

Every age has ups and downs and although the terrible twos have been tough, I can appreciate that Mom and Dad are number #1. I can guarantee that will not be the case at 16.

Deliver Us From Evil

2008-07-20T14:43:00.000-07:00

Last night, I watched a horrifying movie called, Deliver Us From Evil, about pedophiles and the Catholic church. The movie scared the crap out of me, so I went on You Tube today and made all of The Bean's videos private. That means you have to be a friend or family member to view her videos. So if you want access to her videos, send me an email and I will invite you to be my friend on You Tube. It's so sad that there are so many creepy people out there.

Out of curiosity, I checked my You Tube account to see how many times our videos have been viewed. 20,847 times! I definitely don't have that many friends. Let's just hope that it was my fellow SAHMoms watching the videos and not some creepy old guys like Father Oliver O'Grady.

In BIG Trouble

2008-07-17T13:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, less than an hour after I had clicked, "Publish Post," The Bean opens the door from Olive's room (where she has been napping during construction, due to the loud noise on the other side of a wall in her room), fingers and toes spread wide, and proudly announces, "I paint my own nails!"

Her tone of voice gave no hint that she thought she had done anything bad, if fact, I think she thought Mama was going to be real proud. "Oh no,'" I said. "This is not good. You are going to be in big trouble." I nervously walk in to Olive's room to see the mess of mauve polish all over her wood floor. I quickly swiped it with a tissue and was successful in getting all the wet polish off but most of it had already dried. Any suggestions for getting nail polish off a wood floor? I did a quick google search and it looks like you can use nail polish remover or sand paper and then re-stain the floor.

The Bean was so sweet she said, "Mama you be mad?"

"Yep, I'm mad, I'm not going to let you wear polish for 3 months. This polish is not going to come off the floor. It will just be there forever."

"I sawee Mama."

"Leave My Alone!"

2008-07-16T14:59:00.000-07:00

translation: "Leave me alone!"

A phrase I hear at least a couple times a week from The Bean.

As she gets older, I notice more and more similarities between myself, as a child, and her. She is a real do-it-yourself-er. If it were up to her, she would make her own breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday, queue up her own DVDs on the tv and CDs on the stereo, dress herself, drive herself, entertain herself, and groom herself ALL ON HER OWN. This may sound great and all, but she's TWO and she is only capable of doing a two-year-olds job at the aforementioned tasks. If I actually let her do everything by herself, she'd be wearing the same pair of purple underwear everyday, probably with a leg hole around her waist, both legs in one leg of the pants, "like a mermaid," rats nest hair, and yellow mossy teeth (because let's be real, her idea of brushing her teeth is sucking off the toothpaste and eating it, then biting on the head of the brush so the electric motor stops going round and round).

After she had completed her morning "grooming" ritual, she'd pull up the step stool in the kitchen to make breakfast which would involve toasting a piece of bread to perfection and spreading jam on it for the next 20 minutes. Or if she was running short on time, she might just help herself to a ice cream sandwich from the freezer. (Don't ask me why anyone thought to put the freezer on the bottom, instead of the top, of a refrigeration unit.) Then she would go downstairs, turn on a DVD, and settle in for a day in front of the tube.

Now you see why I need to constantly be stepping in to help her out, which she hates. "Mom, leave my alone!"

As annoying as it is, I try to be compassionate since I was the same way as a child. My Dad always called me, "his little helper girl." He had a strong appreciation for a kid who wanted to do things by themselves. If fact this past weekend, when I was ranting about The Bean's annoying behavior, he said, "there's nothing wrong with having her do things by herself. How else will she learn?" A fair point.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention...

2008-07-14T14:00:00.001-07:00

Professor Beans snuck into my bathroom one morning, found my makeup case, opened up my mascara, which by the way, I have always warned her is just for adults, and proceeded to paint the largest and most fabulous unibrow I have ever seen.

Kauai

2008-07-14T13:23:00.001-07:00

Sorry it has been 3 weeks since we last blogged, but we have been without office space due to our remodel. We have been able to check email but all of our cables and things to download photos have been boxed up until now.

Anyway, we just returned from a fabulous trip to Kauai with our friends Sarah, Elias and Franny. We stayed on the North Shore of Kauai and loved all the beautiful beaches and snorkeling it had to offer. My favorite was Ke'e beach, at the end of the road, and the site of the film South Pacific. I'm already starting to plan a longer vacation for next summer, somewhere a little bit more off the beaten path than Princeville.

We'd spend each morning at the beach (Hanalei Pier beach, Anini beach, Ke'e beach, and Tunnels). The little girls were so entertained by the calm water, which made it so relaxing for the rest of us. We all did a little snorkeling, the highlight being the giant sea turtles. The home we rented was a short hike from Queens Bath, a watering hole created by high tide. It provided great snorkeling and cliff jumping for the more adventurous.

Fortunately for Bijou, our 4th of July was firework-less. I think they had a show in Lihue, an hour south of where we were, but we decided to spend a relaxing day at the beach and BBQing at the house. I was also a little nervous about how she would be at the luau we planned to attend. She is extremely sensitive to loud noises so I was afraid she might not like it. In a attempt to make it a success, I told her everything she could expect at the luau and told her she could just cover her ears if it was too loud. I guess my plan worked, because she and Franny had a blast. Surprisingly, they even took the stage to learn the hula from a keiki girl. She sat contentedly on my lap for the entire 45 minute performance of hula dancers, warriors and fire dancers. There was only one segment she wanted to hide and close her eyes, the part with the warriors stomping their feet, grunting and sticking out their tongues.

And a little side note to our trip...I have officially made good use of the barf bags on the plane. Doug and I must have picked up a flu virus before we left which left us very nauseous for several days. We were still able to participate in the daily activities, but had to refrain from eating too much food. This turned out to work in my favor since I usually tend to gain a couple pounds on vacation instead of loosing a couple. I guess we got a Hawaiian cleanse.

Figuring out Zito

2008-06-24T13:20:00.000-07:00

I'm no fan of baseball, but I am captivated in the great rubbernecking tradition by Barry Zito's fall from grace. Here is a one-time dominant pitcher who is on the precipice of ruin. Granted, Zito never had seemingly dominant stuff. Sure, his curveball looped crazily as it approached home plate, but traveling at 75 mph tops, how long before the good hitters learned how to time the thing? But it was a good curveball, so you had to figure that Zito would always be at least good. Wrong. He stinks, and there is no sign that he will not continue to stink for however long the Giants are willing to trot him out.

Many, including Zito himself, have blamed the disappearance of his skills on the hefty $126 million contract that he signed two years ago. I don't know about you, but if I had that kind of money sewn up, I wouldn't have a care in the world.

But rather than give up on the poor guy, my suggestion is to install him as the National League's starting pitcher for the all-star game. Just imagine Zito trying to record a single out, maybe even a single strike, against the game's most feared hitters. This is great theatre, and moreover, it might be just the elixir needed to resurrect his career. Imagine Zito taking the mound, here with nothing to lose because nobody expects anything from him. Then, if he proceeds to mow down batters one through nine, boom-blam-zap, his mojo is back, perhaps better than ever.

This, of course, is exactly what the Giants are not going to do. They are going to reassign him to a minor league level -- I have even seen class A ball mentioned. This is a no-win situation. If he succeeds, what is proven by his ability to outclass a bunch of pimply faced rookies? And if he fails? Oh my goodness. His mojo is now buried under so much baggage it will never again see the light of day. You might as well take him to the boardwalk and see how many dollars it takes for him to knock down the pyramid of bottles and win a Garfield doll. With 126 million tries, I bet he could even win several.

It's all about the boundaries

2008-06-19T12:08:00.000-07:00

As a parent, many of the finer points, and indeed many of the core principles, of child-rearing continue to elude me. But one thing has become patently obvious: the thousands upon thousands of parenting guide books, every last one of them, are worthless. To wit, the many treatises on coping with a "spirited" child, a cornball euphamism for an out of control miscreant. Thoroughbred horses are spirited, little kids are devious and/or manipulative and/or stubborn and/or maddening. What to expect when your child refuses to listen to you? I'm sure there is a 300 page effort out there somewhere, but I can write a more accurate version right here and now. What to expect? More of the same, at least until you play around with different home-grown approaches and locate a solution.

On the subject of spirited children, one area where the experts go off the rails is in their emphasis on establishing boundaries. The theory is that kids want structure and clarity to guide their behavior, and I have no qualms with this idea. This is what they want, but the experts get it all wrong as to why they want it. Kids do not want boundaries to instruct them on how to behave well, they want boundaries so they have a solid grasp of just what will piss off their parents the most. In other words, the boundaries are not a to-do list, as the experts will suggest, but rather a what-not-to-do-no-matter-what list. They want to push our buttons, and all we are doing is identifying those buttons and placing them before the child in an easy-to-use, color coded panel.

Not content to rely on my contrarian theory, I devised a couple of experiments.

EXPERIMENT ONE

Location: family room
Test subject: The Bean
Administrator/Scientist: Me

The Bean objects vehemently when I move the throw blanket from the floor to the couch. The blanket never touches her, nor does it even threaten to do so. My crime, it appears, is that I touched the blanket. Or maybe she thinks I woke it up. The spark of her unrest never becomes clear. My first response is to explain to her that the blanket does not belong on the floor, where it might become infested with all of the snack detritus that she has deposited over the past week. She's having none of it. So then I get up, announce that I don't give a rat's @ss where the blanket sits, and confer upon her full authority to move it to wherever she sees fit. Presto change-o, she is now content to keep company with the blanket on the couch. Reverse psychology you say? Perhaps, but I think that overlooks a deeper lesson. She only wanted the blanket on the floor because I expressed a different locational preference. Once I found peace with the floor as the blanket's location, the flame of her purpose was extinguished.

EXPERIMENT TWO

Location: hall bathroom
Test subject: The Bean
Administrator/Scientist: Me

The Bean is refusing to use her potty, even though incessant clutching of her vagina and a thigh-pinched stagger suggest she badly needs to do so. First, I break out the reason. (I know this is futile, but in the name of science, I must control the experiment.) I fill her head with all of the calamities that will arise if she shuns the potty -- damp clothing, stained furniture, wet floor, disappointed father (this last one was for my own amusement). No dice. She is not going to use the potty. Maybe she thinks the clutching and pinching provide an airtight seal. At this point, making sure that Boogs is not nearby with the video camera, I reach into my bag of tricks and proceed to use her potty to relieve myself. (Note the clever double entendre.) Halfway through, just as my theory would predict, the Bean scales the big toilet, straddles either side, and unleashes a full bladder's worth.

The link to the first experiment may not be obvious, so let me explain. Bean is refusing to use her potty, so I use it instead. This action conveys my indifference to her using the potty, because by definition, she cannot use it while I am busy using it. So now she thinks, well Dada, you are not going to get the best of me and take away my choice to pee. I will just use the big toilet.

So what's the lesson here? There isn't one, unless you are the Bean's parents. You see, I honestly believe that every child is unique, and while there may be certain central tendencies to work to your advantage, each child comes with idiosyncracies that can only be identified and managed through trial and error. I mean, I am 42 years old, and I've yet to figure myself out. For example, why I enjoyed peeing into a lime green plastic potty. It's just not realistic to turn to a book to figure out the 2-year old Bean. It's not any fun either.

Don't Forget About Me

2008-06-14T20:29:00.001-07:00

This morning, we had a woman come over to the house to measure for the cushions we plan to have made for the office and for the kitchen dinette. I introduced myself and shook hands and then proceeded to introduce Doug. I didn't think to introduce the little person clinging to my leg, but she did not want to be overlooked. She interjected, "This is Bijou! This is Bijou! This is Bijou!" Repeating herself, as usual, until we stopped our conversation and acknowledged her existence. Paulette, the cushion lady, was nice enough to crouch down and shake her hand.

I'm sure if we had let it go on any longer she would have started to spell her name, B-I-J-O-U, which she now knows how to do. I don't want to toot my own horn, so I should also note that she will tell you that, B-I-J-O-U, spells "Ali" too.

2008-06-06T14:32:00.000-07:00

Its been months now since The Bean spent the whole night in her bed. For the most part our new routine works for everyone. She comes in our room at 3am, I leave so she can take my spot and go and sleep in her room until everyone gets up around 6:30am. When I say, "everyone," I mean Diggity and The Bean. Mama doesn't get up before 7am, and when I do get up, my latte better be ready. I know its awful but I am not a morning person, never have been, and probably never will.

Anyway, the last week or so everything seemed to be falling apart as The Bean's bedtime was getting later and later, than she wasn't able to fall asleep on her own and insisted that one of us lay with her until she was asleep. We lasted a couple days and then got so irritable that I had to put a stop to this bad behavior. It went something like this...

8:30-9pm regular routine
9pm I sit on a chair outside her bedroom
9:00:01 The Bean gets out of bed and I walk her back to her bed without saying anything.
9:00:02-9:45pm The Bean cries and wails, "Mommy, pleaaaassssseeee help me." again and again. Then she starts calling for Dada to lay down. then Dada to help her, then back to Mama helping her.

It was so dramatic and painful to listen to, but it paid off.

The next night, she got out of bed only once, just to check and make sure the rules from the night before still applied, and then quietly went to sleep on her own. Whew!

2008-06-05T15:56:00.000-07:00